with your own penis?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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