I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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