I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
