what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Pants are for mortals
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
