Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
