i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
