your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
