my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Enjoy the penises
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
