Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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