he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
