literally had 100 drinks last night.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
