i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
