so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
