Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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