after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
