Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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