He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
