You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize