Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Randomize
