if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We got so high we made milksteak
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
