It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
