he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize