break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
