:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i now understand why vodka
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Your penis caused this!
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