he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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