I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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