I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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