god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
