maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
