i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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