I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
