Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
