As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
