No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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