i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize