Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
