just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
