this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize