You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
