Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
