yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Bring me that man meat
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
