i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
