It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
