drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
