I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
