Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
