So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
