organizing the empties. That sober.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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