i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
