they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
