I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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