We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
