You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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