I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
