'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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