I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize