okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
cat food counts as protein by the way
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
