He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize