another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
pray to the hookup gods
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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