If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
