He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
