Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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