so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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