even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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